I think of love as such a warm feeling that makes you smile. It is the phone call you can’t wait to have and it isn’t what is said it is just the person on the other end. The car driving up and the person coming up to the door that makes your heart beat faster. The email that says it has arrived with just the simple note inside. Love makes your dreams wander endlessly to the what can be. Love captures every piece of your soul and doesn’t care how it affects your life. There is no rules to love saying that after 6 days, 6 months, or even a year is when it will hit you. Love doesn’t promise to show you all of it’s faults or what happens if it’s not true to you.
So why do we want this love by our side, why can’t we tell if it’s just infatuation its close friend. Why when there is a chance for hurt will we give everything up just for the chance? When something goes wrong it brings tears of acid to our face the sting burns us to our very soul, but somehow we would do it again even if faced with rejection.
I have been burned by the fire of love, and sold out by the hate that followed when they decided to close the doors. My tears keep flowing, and I think that it be easier to drown then see what might be there waiting if I try again to open that door. How do you tell your soul that what hurts is good for you? How do you trust yourself not to make a mistake without heartbreak? What makes love so worth shattering our lives and having to rebuild our dreams when we open our eyes?
I was told as a child love doesn’t hurt. Promised fairy tales and happy endings. Told that your prince will come. Every girl deserves a man of her dreams, but that is what they are just dreams.
No one tells that you have to work hard to make love survive for it doesn’t on it’s own, and that the world on its own will work against you everyday. No one shares that people change and decide that one day your love is not what they wanted all this time. Power, fame, money, all can make your love die. The struggle to attain the earthly items drag down and trample over what is supposed to be the most valuable gift. Love is given so freely but taken so lightly and discarded when not used like waste.
I don’t know if I am willing to give love a try anymore, but I am thankful for the gift of seeing others that do. Maybe someday love you will teach me to trust you, but till then I will walk the road of apprehension.
urjustamom 
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